Hooked up with Pain! 

This feels all too familiar.
I’ve been through this before.

The way you creeped into my heart slowly
Tearing down the brick walls around it with your bare hands.
Peeling every complex layer that I’d added over the years.
Tears stinging the eyes, no one seems to mind.

The sound of something being unlocked.
My heart gives you a corner to take refuge.
You find a spot. Get comfortable.
Get me comfortable.
Get me to open up.

I take my time.
It’s easier to assume the worst.
I’m careful. Watchful.
Guarding my heart.

Until I get tired. Allow myself to feel.
Not fearing the pain anymore.
The prospect of pain can’t keep me from living my life, loving with all my heart.

And then that day arrives.
It did not take you long.
That familiar pain is back.
Stinging my eyes. Piercing my heart.

You played me. So well.
I was yours: hook, line and sinker.
I was a bait. Or your catch.
Whatever you preferred to call it.
Lying helpless.
Waiting for you to completely destroy me.
There was nothing left of my old self anyway.

I will not cry.
How can I!
I do not feel anymore.

Ah, that familiar pain is back.
This is all I recognise now.
This is what I’ve come to be.

I am pain.
And it does not hurt anymore.


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