It has such a funny way of bringing out your real feelings.
Feelings that you didn’t even know existed.
Feelings for someone you don’t really know.
Feelings that make you appreciate the ones you do know a lot more.
For years, there was this unconscious love and respect I had for someone who taught me how to laugh.
Like really laugh. Unconditional, unbridled laughter.
His own smile and laughter was so contagious that you couldn’t help but join in as he laughed.
In college, there was a turning point on my life, when an otherwise boring literature class turned into an inspirational one, thanks to 2 precious words he uttered.
“Seize the day!”
It has taken me a week to write this post, dedicated to him, cos I haven’t been able to compose myself and find the right words… to express the role he played in my life.
Never before has a celeb’s death affected me so much, on such a personal level.
Like, I feel I have lost someone I’ve known for years. Someone from my family.
Growing up on his movies was such a blessing. I never imagined there being a day when we wouldn’t see that sweet Patch Adams smile. There’s no doubt about the fire he sparked in my heart. He stood on benches and inspired a classroom to go out there and claim the moment, the day… their lives. And those words spoke to ME. I ran with him through the adventures he faced in Jumanji. Sat entranced as he charmed me with a magical performance as the Genie. He donned the crazy hat again recently, as the eccentric head of an ad agency, a larger-than-life person with a restless, crazy mind and a heart of gold. And his characters were so believable only because he poured a lil bit of his soul into every role he essayed.
And when I got to know that he took away his own life, with his own bare hands, my heart sank. I felt a host of emotions. Tears streamed down my face. For someone I have never known, yet I felt like I always did. I was sad, that the world was short of one more loving, kind, warm- hearted soul. I was angry, that the sadness he drove away all his life finally got the better of him. That he finally decided to give in and bail out. That everything he kept telling us seemed so irrelevant now. I was miffed, that no one around could read his pain. Weren’t there moments when he just kept to himself… did no one see that? Or was he just really good at masking his emotions? There are times when I wonder if I’m doing that too… if the world really sees me, or what I want them to see of me?
I was broken-hearted to know that reel life is after all just that- make-believe!
There were many things said in the past week. Theories about his illness- depression/ parkinsons/ bipolar / drugs. About how his daughter was attacked by fans on Twitter. And the world keeps getting a little more dull with each passing day. All of it seems redundant now. So much could have been done when he had life in him. And boy, he did have some ‘awesome life’ packed in him. Each anecdote narrated by people close to him (and even those who weren’t) has so much soul, so much heart in it.
Thank you for the gift of laughter, Robin Williams, and for leaving behind a lesson of life in your death. I’m sorry it had to be this drastic a fall to teach us to rise above the life’s obstacles.
The curtains came down on the greatest show you ever put up- your life, and I only wish I could stop the end credits and say “picture abhi baki hai, mere dost!”
Thank you for the entertainment, and spread your charm wherever you may be!